The maid of honor just puked.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
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