Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
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