): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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