so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
