is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
you win again, gameday.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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