Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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