I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
