I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I smell stomach acid.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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