I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
