I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
