I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize