return my video game
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
