he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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