a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
