It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
