'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize