If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
