Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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