do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
