If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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