My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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