Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
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