i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
