I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
