I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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