my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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