she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
