He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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