That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
