he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
my being single is dangerous.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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