her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
