in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
