In the future we'll all be gay
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
