i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
