So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize