hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
