i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
