Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
