I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
