Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
