Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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