guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I could fuck to npr.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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