okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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