Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
