3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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