Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
