So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
