Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
