I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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