ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
