he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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