; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
