super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I deserve this hangover.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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