Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
He better not be in your backpack
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
