Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
